long way down - goo goo dolls

background song: goo goo dolls, become.

in a nutella shell, lie is an act of creative imagination - of a complex act, hardwired diversion from the truth.

you're charmingly naive if you believe everything from this  blog,  bloggers are like politicians, scam artists and zealots - known as the 'designers of reality'.

dr who experience - the girl who waited, almost astronaut, the wedding of the doctor and angels take manhattan: are in my long list of tear-jerking  episodes that i love to watch over and over again. i just love amy and rory together... can't remember how bad i cried when amy chose to be with rory after he disappeared and sent back to the past by the weeping angel. it was the most romantic episode after a good man goes to war, where rory waited for amy for 2000 years.

 although certain things were unrealistic and pretty dumb - they are good enough to remind myself that stupidity, good laugh are the best - at the end of the day after a long hard day at work. 

the thermodynamics of love

dear daisy,
new semester begin today, and my only disappointment is i may not be able to enjoy my late coming to work after this due to difficulty of finding a parking space. i enjoyed having breakfast at home, watching my nephew in the morning getting ready to school - with a lot of drama, running on a mill and watch or read news.

my sister and her family are leaving next week..... i don't know how to react accordingly, because it will be the first time for me to send off my beloved sister, her husband and kids abroad. the feeling is different, because i was always the one who left, with dreams and frustrations, longed to return with success and love.  to amend things and make up the loss time.  sometimes, circumstances will not allow me to reach out to people that i care and love, time may transform feeling and close heart off any gesture of solidarity and comfort. at such time,  despite grief and sadness, i seek prayers to the Highest order to convey my love and care to those i spare in thought.

i never thought that the feeling of letting my sister and her family go is so painful, that i imagine myself in a brink of collapse. i will miss the joy and laughter  awaiting me at the door every time i come back from work. there will be no more feeding fishes and tortoises at cyberjaya, no more tease on my braces and no more knocks at my door in morning when i prefer to tuck in bed and shut myself.

i never thought that leaving and staying would have different meanings. especially after losing so many people that i love in this year alone.

this remind me of a story, of a rose who always dream day and night about bees, but no bee ever landed in her petals.  she continued to dream on long nights, of heaven full of bees, bestowed fond kiss to the petals. her dreams keep her going on days and open up to the glorious ray of sunshine.

one night, the moon, who  knew of the rose's loneliness asked if she isn't tired of waiting.

the rose answered, that she has to possibly trying and keep remaining open.  otherwise she will perish and fade away.

and a lot of times, when loneliness seems to crush all beauties, the only option to resist is to remain open.

hopefully the energy of love will help to transform the man, reaching its end where circumstances seem possible for us to reach them.