NY in 2016

our fathers' conversations

we are under the movement control order best known as perintah kawalan pergerakan (pkp) to curb further transmission of corona virus. this is already phase two, 43 patients had succumbed to the infection.

at this time, social media was our mode for communication. i didn't do my classes online - only asked the students to work on the problem assignments given a week earlier. i have better things to do with my writings. the students can e-mail me if they have anything to ask. i prefer the lengthy mail than texts of whatsapp. i don't like simplification and reduction of information when the students' have all the freedom to write and directly addressing me. call me old-fashioned, at least i appreciate their thinking - whether they realise it or not.

i spoke to my best friend, uma yesterday - asking about the earrings that she bought from india last month. i don't even know when i will be wearing my beautiful lehenga blouse and those earrings. it seems a month or two from now, all weddings and gatherings will be cancelled.

we spoke about the mass exodus in india, the heart-breaking image of throngs of people in endless lines, walking to their hometown located hundreds of kilometres away from delhi. many are of those earning daily wages, and lock down means starvation. it never occurred to me that history would be repeating itself,  while i am sitting haplessly in the comfortable of a sofa and a cup of coffee, watching the world descent into hell on earth.

it is scorching hot in malaysia, but i like my coffee hot and unsweetened. at least, this is the kind of bitterness that i could tolerate and loving it. i don't want to make a fuss about my coffee. all i want to do now is to make a difference to the current situation. and right now, the image of indian exodus will stay in mind for a very long time.

i had never been to india, a melting pot of culture, religions and lives of a billion people with a long history of more than a thousand years, the early civilization. i love the beautiful and colorful india, very much a fan of tamil and hindustani film, sharing my interest with many others who could only dream of such beautiful lifestyle, the songs and stories are my escape from the reality too.

uma was there to buy materials for her brother's wedding this june, which now has been postponed to indefinitely. the brother is not in malaysia and working abroad, therefore the future arrangement will depend on the situation of the world - a.k.a. the side effects of globalization.

dad spoke about the exodus during the breakfast, though he never liked india - as a country. he strongly feel that we shouldn't let them starve and going on without any assistance. what can we do now, our people too needs help.

i agreed with him but i wanted to know more about his dislike about india why.. what did the country ever do to him.

it isn't the land, or the people per se, but the caste system and the huge gap in inequalities. to use the word, hate and despise is too strong for the emotion, he is just angry at the institution and now modi.

#modimadedisaster is now trending online.

some research work that go unpublished

listening to park hyo shin

i spent half of my day working on the translation from korean to english - it was a mind booster, although all the credit will eventually go to the boss - i think the educational process is good. many things, that deemed unfruitful, like procrastination are actually good for the mind and soul. i guess this is the best excuse for now.

may someday i will be an awesome scientist working on a medical device and regenerative template. i am amazed of a friend from libya who recently published his work on fluorescent in nature. sometimes when we chat over the messenger, i felt like i was interviewing him about the situation and condition of the place in an al jazeera program called the stream.

my mind is working on parallel, there are at least three books that i haven't finish reading - two by arab authors, hassan blashim and ahmad saadawi, the another is by ursula k le guin. plus - necropolis by jeet thayil.

there are few more days left to the new semester, and i am busy preparing for the notes, class preparation and tutorials/quizes/assignments.

i am going to hike in indonesia next week - and need to watch over my breathing, diet and sleeping. my mind is chaos. and i think it is beautiful.

summer could kill - the guardian

2019 was the second hottest year on record with 48 degrees. i am listening and watching to the guardian video on inequality and climate apartheid in india on my iphone while writing this note - the past five years had been the hottest in 150 years, and it brings nothing but excruciating pain and discomfort to those living at margin, struggling to get by. to address inequality, one need to acknowledge the grim economic and political situation in the country. despite modi's citizenship law, the gap between the rich and poor, environmental issues etc, i find hope in india's younger generation

https://www.france24.com/en/20200127-385-mile-human-chain-indians-line-up-to-protest-citizenship-law

global warming and climate change is inseparable from carbon dioxide and methane emission, green house effect from human activities. i applaud the move by the guardian to stop advertising fossil fuel companies in its outlet by making small contribution in support of their plight against climate change. it is difficult to completely give up fossil fuel, for germany it is 18 years and 44 billions. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/16/climate/germany-coal-climate-change.html i don't know if it is worth it? i still drive 130 km to and from work everyday, burning fuels equivalent to almost 750 km every week. i tried public transportation from erl to putra lrt and buses - it adds another one and half hour to work, from 45 to 60 minutes one way by driving. i would walk or cycle if i could, just like during my student days but i can't afford living nearby.  of all places i lived before, boston/cambridge was not a nice place for cyclists - london has better road but US' complicated, designed not to be understood hospital fees and insurance payment are some of the factors that worried me the most during my time over there https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/08/us/hospitals-lawsuits-medical-debt.html i did not have much choice. the public transportation was unreliable or risked myself late to appointments and classes. 

america obsession with fossil fuel and motor industries kill the public transportation in the country. in 2018 i attended a transportation conference at school and listened to prof. daniel sperling of uc davis and institute of transportation studies where he brought up the idea of three revolutions in transportation -  hailing services by driverless electric car. it may be a brilliant idea for 5g or in an urban setting but not when it risks security, using too much energy and require unnecessary technological infrastructure unless the entire city was built on vibranium heaven. i don't want to be negative and discouraging, but what is wrong with lng or bio fuel public buses and trams. the future of transportation does not have to be flying cars but enough with safer, cleaner, efficient and inclusive to people from walks of life.  

what choice do we have as commuters in malaysia? i can't wait for the mrt2 and ecrl to complete. i wish the gombak terminal will be extended to my school, so i can sleep all the way from putrajaya  without having to miss the stop because it will be the last one. i am thankful that i don't have to ride a motorcycle - it may be faster but it doesn't shield one from heat and rain. plus, i got to listen to coldplay while slightly moving in a traffic jam. 

climate change poses unprecedented challenge to humanities and the threat to environmental sustainability, with no one will be spared out of misery. while i spend time working on engineering process for tissue regenerative template in laboratory, climate change risk of sabotaging my entire work in microscopic scale with high humidity, temperature higher than the melting point (20oC) and intermittent flows of electricity. my entire collection of cancer cells had been dead due to evaporation of liquid nitrogen that went faster than usual. there was no use of using the -80 freezer because sometimes we had blackout on weekend for more than 10 hours. 

when i spoke to my mentor in the US before the christmas, i told him that i will do my best with my best abilities and trainings to stay afloat in academia. for that too, i initiated a study on iium urban heat island effect as part of the university's climate action plan which i will share soon. it didn't get any reaction or response from the "above" despite huge sponsorship and promotion on SDG efforts. 

i never thought that 2020 will be boring, insecure (look out at fb offline tracking policy), orwellian and without a mom. teaching saves me. i am thankful to friends and family who always helping me with my studies and enriching me with knowledge and wisdom. maybe i will never get back into the lab, i am ok where i am today. 

of many walks - in reyklavic

the road to vik (the only place in iceland that i know how to pronounce)